Monday Blues: Ways To Say No (Without Saying No) to Your Boss

This is a short Monday post to help anyone who is already feeling overwhelmed on their first day back after the weekend.

Sometimes, there is no way to avoid it.

You sat down this morning with a coffee and your notebook and planned out a full productive day. You've even managed to pencil in some time for self-care by promising yourself you'll join that Pilates class after work, where you can work on getting healthy (while simultaneously working on getting a date with that charming and cute Pilates trainer).

Then, before you even had the chance to digest your coffee, you get an email or a call from your boss asking you to take on something "quick and fast, something that will only take 5 minutes of your time". And YOU know that something fast is rarely fast.

How do you react? Grit your teeth in anger and accept your fate silently? Complain to your "work-husband"/"work-wife"/BFF while telling yourself there's nothing you can do? Or ignore the email and hope your boss forgets about the request or gives up and finds someone else?

All good strategies, we must say. But wait, there are other options.

Option 1: Say "No" but explain clearly why you cannot do it

Sometimes, especially during our current hybrid/work from home environment, bosses fail to see how full your current plate already is. They might be under the wrong illusion that you have additional capacity, and if they are made aware of your current commitments, they might reconsider saddling you with the added responsibility.

So be clear and upfront with them as to why you cannot do it, and that if you do take it on, other tasks might not get the same level of focus and care that they need and deserve.

Option 2: Negotiate the deadline.

Say you feel you should be able to absorb the additional work but you cannot possibly do that plus your ongoing work.

It is a common problem for managers to underestimate the amount of time it will take to perform the said tasks. This is especially true among managers who expects their team to work at the same pace they expect of themselves (even though they may be more experienced). Or they might have been so far removed from the day to day tasks for too long that they no longer have a realistic time frame for reference.

You'll need to negotiate the deadline. For example, say "I can do that but it will have to wait until tomorrow once I've completed my current tasks", or "I know you said we can get this done in 30 minutes but I believe it will require more research and potentially inputs from other departments/stakeholders, so I will need more time to complete the task".

Option 3: Delegate AND Coach

Obviously, this only works if you work in a team where there are other colleagues who will be able to provide cover. Suggest to your manager that you are happy to take it on, and would ensure that it gets completed. However, given your current workload, you would suggest that you coach another team member to complete it and you will report back to them once it is done.

You'll find that most likely your manager would be more than happy for it to be delegated to someone else, so long as the tasks gets completed, and you have not abdicated your responsibilities to oversee it.

Don't Feel Comfortable Saying No?

You are not alone. Most people would rather chew on glass than to come across as insubordinate, risk being disliked by the people they work with, or worse branded as "lazy". The risk of being a people pleaser, however, is that you take on too much that your overall performance at work suffers. Then there is also the small teeny weeny issue of your mental wellbeing and the risk of burnout.

It certainly takes courage to be honest with yourself and the people you work with, especially the one signing your pay check. And to build courage takes practice - so you might as well start now. The more you practice managing your boss' expectation and saying "no" when it is reasonable to do so, the better you get at it (and the less work you would have to do).

Win.

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